Ever since the beginning of the pandemic, and especially after the protests and riots happened in Minneapolis/St. Paul (I live in St. Paul) last year around this time, I have had difficulty sleeping. At first I thought it was related to the pandemic and the tensions in my hometown, but then after Sukha crossed the Rainbow Bridge, I started sleeping really well. I mean really well.
Until last night.
I have a solid and healthy bedtime routine, and I know how to use all the sleep aid tools. I practice the controlled breathing, legs up the wall, and yoga nidra guided meditations. I keep my bedroom as a sleep and rest sanctuary. When all else fails, a dose of magnesium, melatonin, or even a micro-dose of THC gummy usually does the trick.
Last night. Not so much.
We are in the midst of SuperMoon season, which means that the moon is closer to the earth than the rest of the year. The last and next full moons are especially potent because the moon is so close. Just like the moon pulls on the tides of the ocean, it pulls on the tides of our moods, and hormones. Including our sleep-wake circadian rhythms hormones.
I was sleepy at bedtime. My hubby (the Hobbit) and I snuggled and watched a show while he brushed my hair with our pup (the Tosha) at our feet. The conditions were much like they had been the last five nights where I ranked my sleep a 10 our of 10. I even fell asleep quickly and settled into a sweet little dream.
Until our neighbor's A/C unit turned on. Because our windows were open to let in the gentle 50 degree breeze, the noise was a bit louder than usual. Anyone else (the Hobbit & the Tosha) could sleep right through it.
Not me.
The sound of the neighbor's A/C wasn't just a sound, it was a feeling. I could feel the gears of the A/C fan grate across every nerve of my body, especially between my shoulder blades. If it were a consistent sound, maybe I would've been able to absorb it like white-noise, but it wasn't consistent. It was erratic. Turning on and off at its own whim. And every time it went quiet, the lack of noise somehow emphasized all the other noises that my ears didn't pay attention to.
Then because I was awake, Tosha decided it was time to be awake too. She thought 12:30am was a good time to play zoomies in the back yard. Given that she's in heat and not getting her usual dog-park runs, she probably needed to work of the extra energy. I knew I couldn't catch her because I felt her zoomies inside my own body as I watched her. As she ran figure eights around me and the fire pit in our backyard, I felt like I had just finished a triple espresso with double dark chocolate and way too much whipped cream sugar.
I didn't have any worrying thoughts, or even monkey mind keeping me awake. My body was tired, but the energy inside me wasn't quitting. Whenever this happens and I make it through not one, but two yoga nidra podcasts with my legs-up-the-wall and still don't fall asleep, I know...this is one of THOSE nights.
On nights like this one, I *know* I should just get up and write. I *always* have the best ideas and best writing happen on those nights. But did I listen? Nooooo.
I stayed in bed, and watched my thoughts bounce across the ceiling, begging to be caught by a pen and tethered to paper. But I just watched them pogo-stick their way around the huge room inside my skull. I consciously said to myself, "oh yeah! I should remember that one...it's important...write it down...naaaah...it's good enough that I'll remember it!"
HaHa.
Laughs on me.
Those kinds of magic thoughts don't have any time for patience. If I don't pay attention when they are tugging at my apron strings, they will keep knocking...until I fall asleep...and then they dumpster dive into the depths of my mind dump. (yes, that was a Pixar movie Inside Out reference).
I should know by now that when I can't sleep, that the 40-minutes of yoga nidras have logged 4 hours of quality rest in my body, I can surrender to the creative monkeys in my mind and follow their game.
If I had just gotten up, it would have been so much fun. It ALWAYS is.
Sigh. Next time. I'll listen better. As long as this thought doesn't join the others in the great big dumpster of un-paid-attention-to thoughts.
Do you have difficulty sleeping because of your highly sensitive nature being over-stimulated? Book an appointment with me to learn my step-by-step protocol for soothing your nervous system for bedtime.
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